Going Nowhere!

04 Jan

3 Jan 09

I had just enough time to nip out in some clear sunny weather before doing my Gordon Ramsay bit in the kitchen before tonight’s guests arrived. By doing my Gordon Ramsay bit I’m not referring to the standard of my cuisine rather my voluble commentary on how everything is going f*****g wrong and where’s that f*****g casserole!

Having quickly filled the little rucksack and assembled the Fatdog’s bits and pieces I went out to defrost the car. The car started as per usual and having put on the hot air blaster I stepped back outside to load in the pack, boots etc.

I swung the driver’s door shut.


the door bounced straight back out. I checked that I hadn’t tried to jam in a loose safety belt and swung the door shut once again.


The door bounced straight back at me. ”S**t!”. The central locking was frozen up! I eased the door shut and locked the car with the remote. The door was now firmly locked in place. I pressed the release. All the little buttons on the doors shot open immediately. Large sigh of relief. That was until I tried to open the driver’s door. It was firmly locked shut, even though the locking button had released. Gordon Ramsay arrived early!

Not being one to give up without a fight I wandered round to the passenger side and reached across to see if the door would open with a push from the inside. No joy. The next step was to clamber across into the driver’s seat. I say clamber but that really doesn’t fully describe what actually happened. For the past month a problem with my left arm/shoulder has restricted what I can do without causing myself some grief. Clambering in a confined space is not recommended and wriggling onto the driver’s seat required some careful positioning of body parts. My intention was to turn on the ignition and hope that the car’s onboard computer would re-set itself thus rectifying the door problem. Turning the key is just that wee bit tricky with one’s head stuck down the foot well and one’s a**e wedged firmly against the roof of the car! Bloody shoulder!

I eventually extricated myself and started the car. The door still refused to budge. I knew that if I drove for a little while it would eventually release (I had similar problems last winter) so I clambered back out the passenger side with a view to finishing packing and heading out as soon as possible. I swung the passenger door shut.


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Posted by on January 4, 2009 in General Drivel


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