Do you suffer from paranoia?
Do you believe that nobody likes you?
Do you feel you are being ignored?
Then you must have joined a web forum!
Forums are very strange beasties. Some welcome you in and instantly make you one of the family. I’ve heard of some which are fairly hostile and indulge in flame wars with alarming frequency. Recently I came across one where a particular eejit wittered on endlessly on his own post for days, taking any criticism of his lack of rational thought processes as an excuse to churn out page after boring page of incomprehensible drivel. I support the return of the death penalty for this particular offence.
Since starting the blog I’ve found my way onto a number of forums covering different subjects. On one forum I found my scintillating witty prose studiously ignored by most of the members, in fact, if it hadn’t been for the moderator posting a comment on one thread it would have been a humiliating zero response. I can only put it down to professional jealousy. I had tried. I posted in an acceptably pleasant and respectful manner on a number of threads but none of the illiterate b******s saw fit to respond in kind. Just as well I don’t take this sort of thing to heart.
Then there was the forum where it all started quite well…until I agreed with a number of like- minded members that anyone who defiled the sanctity of trust should be taken out and burned at the stake. How the hell should I have known that they knew who it was all along! I didn’t even care! I was just speaking in general terms. I did however respond politely to the perpetrator’s complaining email to me and following his semi conciliatory response I replied once more in a much friendlier vein and posted on his thread a suitable “this ends here” statement. I think it’s a shame he never managed to find the time to reply to say “thanks” or “let’s meet for a pint” because I never got a chance in all this politeness to mention the words sophistry and semantics in relation to his somewhat weak explanation regarding his initial crime against humanity. That aside I found a couple of the inhabitants friendly enough to post on my threads whilst being either ignored or bypassed in a frenzy of post- hijacking “in jokes” by the others. In fairness to them I think the forum was in the relatively early stages of development and was attended by a number of people who had met regularly in the past. The inevitable happens. A lot of “coded” language is used which is meaningless to an outsider. Hopefully they get over this in the future as they seem a nice bunch.
My blogging counterparts are a very friendly group and incredibly helpful…I just don’t understand what they are talking about most of the time (I suspect they don’t either). There does seem to me to be an unhealthy interest in the performance statistics of small stoves. Small stoves remind me of car journeys with my parents in the 1960’s where lunch was tinned meatballs or macaroni cheese heated up in a pot over a wee paraffin heater in a smelly lay-by. I killed a thread stone dead when I said I didn’t care if one stove boiled a litre of water 2 seconds faster than another. It’s been silence since then. I suspect someone’s now started a thread suggesting that I am taken out and burned at the stake. Hi guys!!!
You don’t suppose it could all be my fault? 😉 😆