I may be dead. I’ve checked for a pulse but can’t find any sign. My last evening on earth was spent at a “spin class” and now I am no longer. I didn’t realise than one could achieve death by static bicycle but I am, I was going to say living, proof that one’s demise is actually possible by this unlikely means. It’s difficult to say whether I’m dead forever or whether this is just a temporary state. I certainly haven’t moved for a while so we might have to wait a bit to find out.
If by any chance I’m not dead and go back to the spin class then I shall wear a sign around my neck saying “Please do not Resuscitate” just in case some smart ass tries to revive me rather than leaving me to pass away peacefully.